@BuckyIsotope: RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Praying for telemarketers to call so I can experience human contact as I slowly dissolve into dust
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@0point5twins: BARISTA: Would you like to try our new special Peruvian blend? It's sm- ME: I'm just trying to stay awake and not punch anyone.
@_sleepysmile: He thought I wore a size two. A size two?! I started laughing so hard, I spit out the donut I was eating.
@LoriLuvsShoes: I just saw a woman with a tremendous amount of make up and I was really tempted to use my finger and write "wash me" on her face