@BuckyIsotope: RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Praying for telemarketers to call so I can experience human contact as I slowly dissolve into dust
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@tastefactory: I smoked e-cigs for so long that I got e-cancer. I'm ok though, I just swallowed a Norton Antivirus cd and it cleared things up.
@rolldiggity: I never feel guilty about eating baby carrots because it's not like adult carrots are doing anything great with their lives.
@UncleDuke1969: [typing] Me: Is it DISCREET or DISCRETE? Wife: 2nd. Me: Is "polyamorous" hyphenated? Wife: No. Why? Me: It's for work. When's your flight?
@amazymay72x: *coughs like a maniac* *pretends to pick nose* *scratches armpit* Things I will do on the bus so no one will sit next to me.