@BuckyIsotope: RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Praying for telemarketers to call so I can experience human contact as I slowly dissolve into dust
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@farleftcoast: The recent fake excitement of soccer in the U.S. confirms my belief that Americans will pretend to like anything they can scream USA about.
@ilovepie84: Somebody should tell Forrest Gump that on the back of the box of chocolates it tells you exactly what you're going to get.
@joshbupkes: that moment when football players come out of the locker room and realize they're all wearing the same thing again