@ruraljules: Relationship status~ Siri saw my browser history & now she isn't talking to me either
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@hiitsmolly: all ramen noodles come from one impossibly long noodle of disputed origins. no one knows how much is left or what will happen when it's gone
@tiffaynay: Burger King employee: what size [drink] would you like? Me (thinking she said 'side'): fries. BK: What? Me: *more forcefully* fries.
@Darlainky: Parents, we noticed you successfully avoiding the candy and toy aisles, so we brought the candy and toys to your checkout lanes. -stores