@Dr_awfulpants: Relationship status: using the middle stall so someone has to sit next to me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jesseltaylor: Me five minutes ago: I'm not sure what the United Kingdom is Me now: very good result in Newcastle Central, bodes poorly for the Tories
@BuckyIsotope: Barbie's head is in the refrigerator. Ken swears a "giant child" did it. The police shrug and slap handcuffs on Ken and lead him away.
@T_Bonezzz: If you're with me when I die, remember 2 things: 1) Do Not Resuscitate 2) Smash Phone on Ground
@bridger_w: If your name got called on The Price is Right, it'd be fun to scream, jump up and down, and then run full speed out of the studio