@animaldrumss: Rembrandt was unsurpassed in his ability to depict light and shadow in his works, until the camera came out. then he got insanely surpassed
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@STOTLE: If you read the instructions carefully, the first step to making any microwavable lunch is to throw away the box and dig it out of the trash
@QwertyJones3: ME: I have an announcement... I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER! FRIEND: Congratulations! When is the due date? ME: In a few years, as soon as I graduate from priest school.
@theNuzzy: After my tweet conversation with you, I delete everything I wrote so you look like a crazy stalker.