@KamanCider: Remember kids, if a stranger offers you drugs, say thank you because drugs are expensive.
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@BlairLoudly: Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat's just being dramatic.
@LackOfShame: I'm "had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn't pick up and start dialing" years old.
@scorpicpanda: When the imaginary zebras start sawing off your legs, it's time to lay off the hard stuff.