@SarahMJade: Remember kids, you only burn in hell if you are religious.
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@Ideal_Victoria: Shhhhh! I can't hear about how God spoke to you! I'm busy listening to my toaster tell me about his day.
@ArfMeasures: ME: I worked at a zoo for a while THERAPIST: Great! & what did you take from that? ME: [monkey noises coming from my bag] Uh good memories
@Ygrene: Bully: This town isn't big enough for the 2 of us! Me: Oh yeah? Bully: Yeah! Me: Come at me bro *opens town expansion plan* and look at this
@cat_whisperer_: Breaking: New torture report reveals CIA use of Facebook Year In Review videos.