@SarahMJade: Remember kids, you only burn in hell if you are religious.
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@Playing_Dad: [First date] Date: I'm looking for a guy who's above average. Me: [Trying to be above average] I've eaten 17 spiders this year
@OfficeLinebcker: "If I eat my arm, I can't technically gain any weight" - my thought process after only 5 days of dieting. I'm doomed.
@Barknado69: "I got your back" "And I got your nose" "Ooh I want his feet" Mr. Potato Head: *sobbing* guys stop it