@_SetTheHook_: Remember, ladies, when you're taking those selfies, the camera adds like 10 cats.
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@Reverend_Scott: God: welcome to heaven. here's your wings. Adam West: [putting on batman cowl] I won't be needing those.
@fakegoldegg: toothpaste is a big scam. if ur tooth falls out, it stays out. toothpaste Will Not paste it back in.
@TheToddWilliams: [grocery produce aisle] ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots? CLERK: No, why do you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?
@JennyJohnsonHi5: My mom asked me a question and when I went to answer she said, "Hold on I can't hear you. I gotta turn on the light." The dark was too loud?