@The_Sculptress: Remember that time when you didn't call, & a giraffe round house kicked your neck, & you fell off a merry-go-round & died?nnSo sad. Really.
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@juliussharpe: People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.
@GensPlace: Avoid cars that have a sign saying 'baby on board'. That driver has only had a couple of hours sleep and is likely to be suicidal.
@Tommytoughstuff: WIFE: Oh darn I have a loose thread on my sweater. ME: (waiting for the right time to tell her I bought a sword) Allow me m' lady.
@jollyrobber: You kids today with your on demand music don't know the euphoria of hearing your jam come on the radio without the DJ talking over it.