@ElgatoEsmio: Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
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@bea_ker: GUY POSING FOR THE SCREAM PAINTING: Are you done? Let me see EDVARD MUNCH: You look great GUY: Let me see EDVARD MUNCH: No
@DukEB51: My wife is such a bad cook,if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
@Amazon_Blonde: 911 what is your emergency? Me: "My 6 year old hasn't stopped talking since he got home" 911: "stay calm ma.. Me: MY EARS ARE BLEEDING