@esc_key: Remember to leave milk and cookies out for Captain America tonight.
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@juliussharpe: Dating is good practice for parenting because you learn not to care when someone is crying in a restaurant.
@Sarcasticsapien: I hate when people say "Look at me when I'm talking to you." I mean, c'mon, one inconvenience at a time.
@rolldiggity: Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn't make a funny, cat-shaped hole. Not even close.