@esc_key: Remember to leave milk and cookies out for Captain America tonight.
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@PaperWash: It's not about retweets or followers, it's about alienating your children so they learn to be independent and responsible
@donni: MAYOR: I now present you a key to the city ME: So long, suckers! *hops in city and drives away* MAYOR: Come back! I need that for work!
@2014longview: Cop pulled me over said "papers" I replied with "scissors, I win" and drove off. Now I'm doing hard time on the rock.