@esc_key: Remember to leave milk and cookies out for Captain America tonight.
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@daemonic3: Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf
@DirtMcTurd: My girlfriend says she's my best friend but she got so mad when I called her a homo and threw a snowball at her face. Women are so confusing
@trevso_electric: I don't have bumper stickers because I don't believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed.
@Pork_Chop_Hair: Him: Don't get your panties in a bunch. Me: It's called a bulk pack, Todd. That's how Costco sells them.