@Sassafrantz: Remember when I told you to be yourself? I think we should revisit that.
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@dafloydsta: [couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules
@MAKJ: Me: I’m going to be healthy Breakfast: fruit Lunch: sandwich Dinner: salad Midnight: large pizza, mac & cheese, a gallon of ice cream
@ScreaminMomX2: Parenting tip: If your toddler is being quiet then they are probably doin somethin like tryin to flush the cat down the toilet.