@NYC_Blonde: Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs? LOL
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@noogscorner: Batman: *puts on glasses* Hey do I still look like Bruce Wayne? Superman: Um obviously. Batman: Think about that for a second.
@topaz_kell: [talking to myself in the mirror] "You will not be awkward today." Person: "Hey" Me: "Good. How are you?"
@Cryptoterra: Christian politicians hate science because they think it's always talking about two Adams bonding
@NurseSeymour: Waitress: need anything else? Me: yes, a cup of black coffee. W: and how would u like your coffee? M: uhhh..black and in a cup?