@Marlebean: *renames my kids South and East, and leaves them on Kanye's doorstep*
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@HatfieldAnne: The orthodontist says I'm doing a “super job” wearing my retainers. All this really means is that I'm able to put things in my mouth.
@ThisOneSayz: Me: sandwich for lunch? 6yo: noooo!!! Me: how about salami, tomatoes, cheese & bread? 6: YES!! I win.
@HallpassCanada: Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you're standing outside watching your house burn.