@ContradictEgo: Replacing facebook with Twitter is a bit like replacing caffeine with heroin
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@TEXASVETERAN: I got out of bed this morning and decided it was time to turn it around. So, I did a 180 and went back to bed.
@AbrasiveGhost: [Me being beaten to death w/ can of frozen veggies] "Oh peas no!" [WHAP] "Why u bean like this?" [SMACK] "Don't u carrot all?" [CRACK]
@iscoff: *draws a tarot card* Ah, the guy with too many swords. This card means you need to have less swords
@Underchilde: Wore a hospital gown to work today and faked a cough for 5 minutes, and they said I could have the break room all to myself.