@ContradictEgo: Replacing facebook with Twitter is a bit like replacing caffeine with heroin
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@hippieswordfish: everyone's always asking me 'is your son named after the movie?' and I'm like no idiot Sharknado's 5 yrs old and the movie came out in 2013
@TwiCarlyGleeber: Girl likes 'boys with accents <333' on Facebook. I charge at her. "HELLOUGH!! I AM HELMUT, FROM RUSSIA. I WORK AS STRANGLER AT MEAT FACTORY"
@chimneyspotter: What idiot called it "CSI: France - Murder in a Bakery" instead of "Baguette and Tag It"