@TheFakeCNN: Report: Scientist walks in on climate changing, awkwardness ensues
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@zachreinert03: Anytime I see someone with dreadlocks i yell CONGRATS ON HAVING A DIRTY HEAD FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME
@rocket_roy: [Lizard Enterprises HQ] Lizard Boss: Um excuse me, do you work here? Snake balancing on 4 toothpicks (nervously): Uh yessir why do you ask?
@TheMichaelRock: Justin Bieber made a racist joke when he was 15. Quick, someone give him $2 billion for his basketball team to teach him a lesson.
@CheryeDavis: This guy must really want to impress me with his endurance skills. Because when I asked if he wanted a ride, he said "No thanks I'll walk"