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@DrakeGatsby: Reporter: He was strangled by a loved one
My Murderer: Whoa, love is a strong word
@form52: I will marry a woman if she knows homer is Not a Simpson and Plato is Not clay
@jergarl: [At gang interview]
GangLeader: You wanna be in our gang
GL: What qualities do you..
M: *Already snapping fingers
GL: You're in
@rachelaxler: it's cool how the members of Anonymous are so good at computer stuff, but also wrote so many great poems and inspirational quotations.
@Artemis_Ascends: *Brings an ukulele to a gun fight.
@Opiyow: Anyone can beat a polygraph.It doesn't even have hands.