@Kennedydp5: The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from
@BuckyIsotope: Kanye West builds a time machine so he can interrupt himself interrupting Taylor Swift.
@Chumpstring: I like to shit with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
@STOTLE: What idiot called it the toaster and not the tanning bread?
@stuzario: Court her the old fashioned way by doing late night burnouts in front of her house
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