@bornmiserable: Return of the Jedi is not possible without the receipt of the Jedi.
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@murrman5: "do you know the best way to get rid of a wasp nest?" no, try using your phone [throws phone and hits wasp nest] *running* I meant google it
@CroweJam: The Humane Society will give Donald Trump $5 if he releases that thing on his head back into the woods.
@joeljeffrey: I waited around all morning for the mailman so I could grab his hand through the mail slot.
@EamonToPlease: My TWILIGHT ZONE plot idea: The sole survivor of the apocalypse finally has time to listen to podcasts but still doesn't feel like it.