@stockejock: Revenge is a dish best served with a laxative that looks like chocolate.
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@maughammom: Me: "Want a banana?" 3yo: "Yes, but don't cut it up. And don't peel it. And don't make it be a banana. Make it be a waffle."
@ohpeetie: My hobbies include reading books, eating snacks, and sending emails referencing attachments without the attachments.
@JermHimselfish: As you get older, dirty talk turns into "Yeah baby, take that nap. Take all of it honey. You like that couch? Oh yeah, sleep on it..."