@ClaytonSykes: Revere rides a horse saying "The British are Coming"and it's heroic but I hop a pogo stick naked screaming "look at me"and it's probation?
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@ZWindsor_: Teacher- "How much is a gram?" Me- "Depends on what you want" Teacher- "Out, just get out"
@brianbowman73: Coworker: Pass your random drug test? Me: With flying colors! CW: Really? Me. So many colors! CW: You're high right now aren't you?