@bluntphilip: Rich people in movies apparently can't drink scotch without telling everyone how old it is.
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@Dawn_M_: My online boyfriend loves me so much that once I put my money in his PayPal account he is coming to visit me.
@_wangwe: Her: I heard your sister went to the US. Me: Yeah she did. Her: Which state? Me: Alaska. Her: Cool, when she tells you, tell me.
@HomeProbably: My kid brother used to have a lazy eye and had to wear an eye patch. My whole body is lazy so I'm wearing my couch.