@bluntphilip: Rich people in movies apparently can't drink scotch without telling everyone how old it is.
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@joshgondelman: My girlfriend and I are thinking about adopting a dog because we've had no luck trying to have one naturally.
@TheTalkingPipe: Some people wouldn't understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
@ehdannyboy: People that start a sentence with "Now I'm not trying to be rude" are either about to be rude, or about to sing Ignition by R Kelly.