@GaryJanetti: Rio declares state of emergency just before Olympics. That's like inviting people to your house for dinner but you have no food. Or house.
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@Quartzjixler: We will require you to do something somewhat onerous and time-comsuming and then introduce impediments to completing it. - my employer
@matt___nelson: [Fear Factor] HOST: and the first contestant to touch the puppy in front of them will be sent home *camera pans to me already holding puppy*
@HomeProbably: My kid brother used to have a lazy eye and had to wear an eye patch. My whole body is lazy so I'm wearing my couch.
@SortaBad: "I can't wait to see what my Happy Meal prize is! Wait...what the -" [U2 is playing a free concert in the box]