@Vice_Queen: Romantic movies taught me that you always have to walk out after a big argument so that 6yrs later you can meet by chance and get married.
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@plethoricjake: As a child whenever I asked my parents to close the closet at night they always said. "Why? Anything that could kill you can open that door"
@YesThatAmy: This chick at Walgreens is totally hitting on me. What's your name? What's your address? Do you have any questions for the pharmacist?
@WildeThingy: A new study shows twitter is more addictive than crack. A scientist who looks suspiciously like my wife said "better put down that phone."
@BradBroaddus: I've found that nowadays most people don't like holding hands in public. Especially if you don't know them.