@radmarco: *romantically climbs into your balcony to ask for your wifi password*
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@TinaMav: How to kill a spider: get a piece of tissue paper, approach it slowly, and very carefully, burn the house down.
@Emonalisha: If you piss me off in the grocery store I will get in line in front of you and pay for a single banana with a personal check
@leshnevsky: How to make a woman crazy in two steps: 1. Take a picture of her 2. Don't show her the picture
@_correctomundo: Nephew: What's love? Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!