@AdamOfEarth: Roses are flowers, violets are flowers, I'd love you more if you had super powers.
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@ericsshadow: [on a date] Play it cool don't let her know you're a refrigerator [her ex-boyfriend turns off the electricity] "This isn't cool man."
@TwoSapphiresBlu: I crave feet in the sand, a gentle ocean breeze, the sun on my face, and two entirely new presidential candidates.
@ClaytonSykes: After getting out of jury duty, it dawned on me that our nation's trials are decided by 12 people too stupid to get out of jury duty.
@DJLIWIKZ: My sons having a few friends stay over tonight Hockey mask *check Chainsaw *check Hopefully this will be the last sleepover for a while