@WorkaholicBlake: Roses are niggas. Violets are niggas. I'm Lil Wayne, And niggas ryhmes with niggas.
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@WilliamAder: I got free pancakes on International Pancake Day. International Women's Day is now almost over and I think I like pancake day better.
@JWilsonGA: Wife: I'm making breakfast for dinner tonight. What do you want? Me: Bacon. Wife: And? Me: *blank stare* Wife: AND? Me: A napkin?
@freypalm: Me: [to cat] HEY! GET YOUR PAW OUTTA THAT FISH TANK, MISTER. Fish: [holding the cat’s paw] Ignore him—he’ll never understand love.
@Kyle_Lippert: If you love something, let it go. Let it run until it reaches the invisible wall & the shock collar you attached to it's ankle cripples them