@Daddyissues__: Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chic is you.
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@XLCadillac: My two levels of drunk are 1) dancing with fat chicks at the club 2) smashing my neighbor's window thinking I locked myself out of my house.
@ClassicMegan: Out of all the gruesome noises coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most troubling.
@GreenEyedJedi: I once dated a guy who left a trail of rose petals leading to a sinkful of dirty dishes.
@OtherDanOBrien: ME: I've expressed this political opinion so clearly, there's no way anyone could misinterpret it. THE INTERNET: lmao challenge accepted