@Squizbot: Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the 6 if you'll be the 9.
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@Parkerlawyer: Hubs left his Amazon account open on the laptop and I swear to God if I'm getting a lawnmower for Mother's Day there will be bloodshed.
@lilgapeach30: I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent. Might not kill him but he'll never have any friends.
@QwertyJones3: PSYCHIC: I can see your future ME: Are you really a medium? PSYCHIC: *shows me the size on her shirt tag* ME: Medium. Son of a gun...
@ThaJawn: Batman: I told you, if it's mine you have to say bat before it.. Like bat-mobile, bat-arang.. Doctor: Fine, you have bat-herpes