@Cravin4: Roses are red
Violets aren't ferns
Since I've been with you
When I pee it burns.
@JohnFugelsang: My favorite Bible story is when Jesus feeds the multitudes after administering a drug test to make sure they deserve food.
@trojansauce: [my fitness dvd]
ME: *lifting cans of soup as weights* im using minestrone but you can use pretty much any kind
@5exyunchained: A month ago I gave my number to this beautiful girl. She said "I will text you when I get home". I think she's homeless.
@JesseWeller: You know that really private/embarrassing stuff you say to your girlfriend when no one else is around? Her friends know all that shit.
@Jez1: What do I want to do to your body? I don't know. Identify it, I guess.