@Cravin4: Roses are red
Violets aren't ferns
Since I've been with you
When I pee it burns.
@Ndeshi_M: Should I ever become president everyone who uses the word “bae” will be sterilized.
@Cheeseboy22: Accidentally deleted an invitation to join LinkedIn from a friend. I doubt I'll ever get an opportunity like that again.
@BuckyIsotope: The ending for Toy Story 3 only Andy sells his toys to get weed money and makes a bong out of Mr. Potato Head.
@13spencer: I'd like to think that my exes see me as "the one who got away," but it's probably more like "the one who got away from the police."
@djdarrellripley: (Sigh) I thought "The Scarlet Letter" was a book about red stationery....