@Twisted_Mettle: RUN FOREST!!! RUN!!! But the trees just stood there. Frozen with fear. In the end, the flames consumed them all.
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@SadMeterologist: TRUTHFUL TUESDAY: When my son was 7 he pissed me off so badly I pressed all the elevator buttons knowing every new rider would blame him.
@Mr_Kapowski: *wears a tuxedo tshirt to interview as a joke* McDonald's Manager: Oh wow, are you from corporate?
@stockejock: When a cop pulls you over for a DUI at 2am on Friday night & tells you to walk the line-it's never good to start singing Johnny Cash songs.