*Running late *Light turns green but car in front wont go *About to honk when reads bumper sticker: honk if you love disco *Is late for work

@mdob11: Goal weight: "are you ok, you look sick"

364

@Bandersnaaatch: Sometimes my memory is not quite as good as my forgettery.

1

@adamjest: *makes doctors appointment* *arrives 20 minutes early* *waits in doctors office for 7 hours*

42

@Jandalize: I accidental typed sinroof instead of sunroof and I may have just invented the greatest thing ever.

1

@joejwest: ME: [bumps man] MAN: [spills coffee] Say sorry ME: No MAN: Then I'll see you in court ME: [remembers I own a camouflage suit] You won't

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