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@writerPT: *Runs 6 miles*
*Adds Kenyan to resume*
@kimtopher22: I saw death today, in the face of the man at the next table, as I heard his wife say "I don't know, do you THINK I look fat?"
@_NTFG_: My friend left his laptap on the floor in my living room. My other friend thought it was a scale. Conclusion: She weighs $950.
@jake_likes_naps: *locks hands with stranger in elevator*
im nervous, this is my first time flying
@BonaFideIntent: Overall productive day..
*Ordered Batman boxer briefs & matching knee socks
*Called my mom
*Bought an Xbox game, & a goat, on Craigslist
@truegritrumble: WIFE: *filing for divorce*
ME: Are you mad at me?