@GrantTanaka: It's important for me to teach my kids to be independent & self-reliant, cause I won't be around forever, especially if I win the lottery.

@thebeckyard: Angry beavers can't get our packaging open, but go ahead and try in your weakened state lol -cold medicine companies

@JohnnyNami: "If someone wanted to murder you, a night light wouldn't stop them" I will never lie to my future children.

@JoParkerBear: It's always uncomfortable when someone says you might be their soulmate, and you have to tell them you don't have a soul.

@AverageCorners: Me: Okay, bed time. Brain: I'm with you, man. I'm tired. Nose: GUYS I LEARNED HOW TO WHISTLE "PATIENCE" BY GUNS N' ROSES!