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@fuzzlime: Runs with scissors
Gets hit by bus
@KevinFarzad: I'm tired of being told to remove my card rapidly. Starting a new ATM for people who wanna remove their card at a more chill pace
@mattkoff: I really showed that Rubik's Cube who's unemployed.
@mantej: Mother's may get a day, but shark's get a whole week!
Mom sharks get 1 week AND a day.
...don't even get me started on black shark moms.
@Midgetspar: If I had a fake leg it would be a see-thru plastic one full of jelly beans and I'd only charge kids a dime for a handful like the old days.
@hasht4g: I'll be buried in a spring-loaded coffin stuffed w/ tons of confetti. In the future some archeologist is gonna have an awesome day at work.