@pleatedjeans: Sad that Batman's never seen a PG movie b/c he never had parental guidance
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@Chel__CLE: When my husband brags that girls hit on him at work, I just remind him that I make more money than him. We both go to bed happy.
@ShortSleeveSuit: [at a movie theater] Cashier: Can I help u? Me: One large cornpop please C: Sir it’s the other way around Me: Ok- can I help u?
@fillthevacuum: *died in your arms tonight* *stuffed in your trunk tomorrow* *buried in the woods the day after that*
@5hael: Once you go black, you can always go back to having coffee with milk, there's really no set in stone rules here.