@aparnapkin: Saint West, the patron of selfies
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@tacsanitchiban: Whenever someone says "let's get weird" my first thought is "I'm already there"
@behindyourback: *a friend tells me their problems* me: mhm, ok, have you tried eating about it?
@AsaAkira: A lot of you are calling me "mom" lately. Is it cause I'm old? Or cause you respect me? I hope for your sake it's cause I'm old.
@UnFitz: For Halloween I'm giving out razor blades with candy in them. These kids'll be shaving away and then BAM - nougat everywhere.