@UnFitz: In space, no one can hear you scream. In cyberspace, no one can shut you up.

@weinerdog4life: If I ever have a baby, I hope it's a puppy.

@HarleyPlays: If I was in the military, I would be a sniper. That way I can lie down a lot.

@moxieblogger: I use proper syntax and punctuation on all of my tweets, unless I am in danger of exceeding the 140 character limit... & then u no how it b

@BradBroaddus: My wife must have some big surprise vacation planned. She left a note by the bed telling me I had until tomorrow to have my bags packed.