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@tsm560: *saves the date*
Date: I have a boyfriend. Try the fig.
@aka_fatman: "My wife and I are SO in love. Always finishing each other's..."
*Russian accent* "You give me Green Card now, yes?"
@xosm: Technology: the world is at your fingertips, you can accomplish anything!
@mrtruthandsoul: No, I don't need a bag; I'm gonna juggle this 12 pack, this bag of ice and this whole roasted chicken on my unicycle while whistling Dixie.
@shanethevein: Cop said that it's illegal for me to have flashing lights & siren on my car.
I looked at his car and said are you going to arrest yourself?
@dwaghalter: "What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?" - my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome