@bourgeoisalien: Saw 8 vasectomy billboards on my 4 hour road trip through Florida yesterday. It's like Florida knows what has to be done to Florida.
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@KKBowls: Instead of politely knocking on the bathroom door, my kid attacks the door like a rookie DEA agent on his first raid
@SortaBad: [turns to guy at next urinal] "When the Little Mermaid became human how did she know how to use a toilet? BIG-TIME plot hole in my opinion"
@primawesome: Did you know there's a type of spider that eats snails and uses the shell as armor to attack birds? That's not true. I'm sorry.