@Mindless4Miles: Saw a bird at my feeder shit on another bird's head and that bird just kept right on eating. I've never before felt this close to nature.
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@renesosa12: Woo hoo, July 4th wknd! Popped opened a beer, unbottoned my pants, put my feet up. My boss keeps looking at me weird, though.
@LizHackett: Hi, famous people getting DUIs. You know you can probably afford a driver, right? Just a thought.
@JediGigi: Hot guy just walked up to me and said I was pretty so naturally I pulled out a Sharpie and drew a star on his forehead.
@Reverend_Scott: Robin: "Let me drive the Batmobile!" Batman: "Never. I'd rather let Superman." *wall breaks down* Superman: "OMG really??" Batman: "No."