@Mindless4Miles: Saw a bird at my feeder shit on another bird's head and that bird just kept right on eating. I've never before felt this close to nature.
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@ojedge: Van Gogh: "Dude, I saw this hella vase of sunflowers today." Gauguin: "Pics, or it didn't happen." [van gogh pulls out oil paints & easel]
@timdonakowski: Boss: I'm following you on Twitter. Me: Sweet! 'Nother follower! [Days later] Me: Oh wait. Shit.
@TequilaTears: Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"