@zachreinert03: Saw a guy smoking while pumping gas & at first glance thought 'wow that's not safe' & at second glance thought 'wow that guy's on fire'
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@FBSisnothere: When I hear the phrase "Freudian slip" I immediately imagine Sigmund in a revealing, yet tasteful nightgown. That can't be healthy.
@novicefather: I DO help with the laundry. My wife just doesn't understand. I wear the same jeans for like two weeks straight.
@dril: ive decided that nudity is acceptable if irt's done for artistic reasons, like, promoting a mattress store,
@dadjokehansolo: Ben: I'm trying to read, you're in my light Me: Because I am a Solo eclipse! Ben: Dad I swear to- Me: I am blocking the light of the son!