@CMHorrocks: Saw @justinbieber on a piece of toast. Am I going to hell?
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@beefman138: 3 : Daddy, can we watch Frozen? Me : Sorry, darling. We can't watch Frozen in the summer because all the characters will melt.
@toastymoe: Bad news: I got so busy drafting tweets, I forgot to pick the kids up at school. Worse news: I'm a bus driver
@Tommytoughstuff: *pulls away from kissing* JUDGE: That was unexpected and kind of nice, but you're still guilty.