@mattyglesias: Say what you will about Fidel Castro, at least he didn't use a private email server.
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@QwertyJones3: Me: Oh my god, that cat is adorable! She's the cutest kitty I've ever seen! Cat: I just want to be friends.
@ceejoyner: A solid knife fighting strategy is to move clockwise in increasingly larger circles until you reach a safe running distance.
@TheIronSherk: Learned today that it's about 12 min after realizing there's no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are