@mattyglesias: Say what you will about Fidel Castro, at least he didn't use a private email server.
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@onion_an: [at aquarium] That's a lot of octopussys to have in a tank. "Octopi" Oh sorry...that's a lot of octopussys to occupy a tank.
@Talkbackatme: I just got unfollowed by a woman that just started following me yesterday, so I guess I just had my first one night stand on twitter.
@Rollmaninoz: BREAKING NEWS: Man gets out of offending people by saying "present company excluded of course" after highly offensive statement