@Black__Elvis: Say what you will about Hitler, but the guy did kill Hitler.
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@maddie11_Anders: Do you think that a funeral director signs his letters with ' yours eventually'?
@jazmasta: Who called it confronting ur husband Stanley about flirty texts from a girl named Rebecca from a former soviet state and not Who'sbeckystan?
@lwhit_the_boss: A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it's hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh & then I punched her in the face.
@ramblinma: All these people training for marathons and I'm over here, on my couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger.