@whereami18: Saying no thanks to a CW's offer to hit me with their car so I could take the day off proves decisions shouldn't be made before coffee
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@DearAuntAbby: If you listen carefully you can hear the sound of raindrops sighing. Really, you can hear almost anything if you're high enough.
@panmidwest: [waiter brings plate of seaweed wrapped sushi] ME-what do I do with this? W-eat it lol M-all of it? W-yes M-alright..[nervously bites plate]
@Cool_Jesse: That's the last time I follow some dude into the woods just because he tells me he's a wizard.