@whereami18: Saying no thanks to a CW's offer to hit me with their car so I could take the day off proves decisions shouldn't be made before coffee
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@fro_vo: [job interview] interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years? me: that's a trick question there is no c in any of those words
@david8hughes: [911 call] "My hand's stuck in a blender!" "Turn it on then." "What?" " I can't hear it, turn it on so I know you're not lying."
@BestScienceJoke: Some cardinals and some ordinals walked into a bar, but the ordinals walked in first.