@leshnevsky: Scars make a man handsome? Bathe your cat every day and you'll become the sexiest man in the city very soon!
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@sweet_pea707: Me: Did you hear what I just said? Him: Yes Me: What did I say? Him: Did you hear what I just said
@radtoria: amazing how folks can pinpoint the subtle floral undertones in a glass of wine while i'm like "yo, is there mustard on this grilled cheese?"
@ThisCantBRight: I don't condone workplace violence, until someone microwaves fish in the break room.
@longwall26: Life got you down? Just remember that you will never be as confused and sad as the friends and relatives of the world's first clown.