@leshnevsky: Scars make a man handsome? Bathe your cat every day and you'll become the sexiest man in the city very soon!
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@DonQuickoats: If I had a piranha pond I might ask you to come over and take a close look at the lilypads
@Book_Krazy: HIM: you promise you're not an octopus? ME: of course not silly HIM: good. come in & meet my family ME: *hugs all 4 of them at once*
@JohnLyonTweets: [before pepper spray was invented] Cop: *holds pepper grinder in suspect's face* Say when.