@leshnevsky: Scars make a man handsome? Bathe your cat every day and you'll become the sexiest man in the city very soon!
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@LaceyNycole: *brings donuts to work* Co-worker: I have a gluten allergy, so I have to watch what I eat. Me: Cool, then you can WATCH me eat this donut.
@NJFreudian: Which doesnt belong? Camel Polar Bear Obama Buffalo Camel......It's the only one on the list that knows something about the Middle East
@justinshanes: I was probably the first choice of the person who texted me, "Wanna go to a concert in 40 minutes?!"
@BeardSpice: My high school bully just made my McDouble, so I guess I won; but then again I am eating at McDonald's so I guess it's a tie.