@leshnevsky: Scars make a man handsome? Bathe your cat every day and you'll become the sexiest man in the city very soon!
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@revious: My ex got drunk and left me at a bar so I called the police and reported a drunk driver.. #topahole
@TheAlexNevil: I tried to contact Joan Rivers through my ouija board, and a message came back: "If I wasn't already dead, your outfit would've killed me".
@Ellierocks2013: Sometimes I squat on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward Cuz that's how I roll..