@MensPictures: School be like
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@WilliamAder: I remember my first time at a mic. "Cleanup on aisle 5" & "Price check-Advil" were two early bits that really seemed to resonate with folks.
@joshgondelman: I'd have more sympathy for Sony's alleged loss of $200 million if that weren't the cost of like three large popcorns at any movie theater.
@SirEviscerate: *uses blood from wounds to write my killer's name on the floor* I...will be...avenged. NO! BAD DOG! DON'T LICK THAT! DADDY NEEDS JUSTICE!