@yaboybillnye: SCIENCE FACT: if you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.
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@BMcCarthy32: WELL IF BEING DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL ISNT THE BEST TIME TO ASK ABOUT A THREESOME THEN IM FRESH OUT OF IDEAS
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Mom holding crying baby: He just needs to be changed. Me: Yeah hopefully into a puppy or something quieter.
@rolldiggity: It's going to be so disappointing if we ask aliens about crop circles and they're just like, "We hate corn."
@JizzleLizzle: Got so high last night we searched for my friend for half an hour while he helped us look