@Ygrene: Scientists now believe that approx 2% of Earth's water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher
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@wolfpupy: i feel like most people have forgotten why we were robbing this jewellery store in the first place, for the jewels
@ArfMeasures: HER [sits seductively on my lap] The more you tip...the more I'll take off ME [reaches for wallet] This is such a weird way to cut hair
@squirrel74wkgn: All these gifts today better get me laid. Wife (in a narrator's voice): ...but, then she overheard him talking...and he never did get laid.
@Shock_Monster: I think the guy in front of me is trying to resolve the world's economic issues single handedly at this ATM.