@SlenderSwab: Screamed in horror as I woke to find two severed horse heads in my bed, but then laughed remembering I hadn't removed the one from yesterday
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@bencoffeehall: Each year an average of 10 people are killed by sharks while 100 people die being stepped on by cows. Where's Cow Week, Discovery Channel?!
@CornOnTheGoblin: I like big NUTS n my pecan pie u other bakers cant deny When a treat comes n with a crust too thin & the crumbs get on my chin It gets FLUNG
@cbdoubleu: Not to brag, but I have the high score on 7 different blood pressure machines around the city. *enters initials