@SlenderSwab: Screamed in horror as I woke to find two severed horse heads in my bed, but then laughed remembering I hadn't removed the one from yesterday
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@Piecezilla: [Jogs to a halt in front of you minutes after a fire truck passes]That guy's (panting) never gonna sell any fire (panting) driving that fast
@KeetPotato: barber 1: ugh this guy again, youre doing him this time [20mins later] barber 2: you coulda told me he turns around to answer every question
@SveldtSmelt: I like to eat a handful of paperclips right before I walk through a metal detector cuz I got all day, pal.